How You feel is Okay
There are times when it feels like our life has come apart, and something inside us becomes hard to be with. This reflection explores with what happens when that feeling is no longer pushed away, but met with gentle care.
This short film follows a man in a quiet moment after everything has become too much. Alone with what he has been trying not to feel, something quieter begins to move beneath the surface.
Sometimes life does not simply disappoint us. It can feel as though something has fallen apart around us. Perhaps a relationship changes. Or something that we hoped for collapses. May be a door that was once open closes. Or simply, a moment arrives differently from how we expected it to be.
And in those moments, there is what is happening outside of us, in the circumstances, and then there is the whole inner lived reality that comes alive within us.
Fear, grief, shame, loneliness, anger, helplessness, confusion, to name some of these very human experiences. And sometimes they do not arrive as separate emotions with clear labels. Instead they come as a whole inner felt and an embodied reality. Its like a feeling of being trapped inside ourselves. A feeling that it is too much to hold, in the body, in this moment, with life as it is.
Of course it looks and feels as though the outside has directly caused the inside. That is how human experience often appears. Something happens, and almost instantly a world of meaning, memory and feeling rises within us. It feels obvious that the situation is the feeling.
And when that feeling becomes too much, it makes sense that we try to get away from it, distract, or even shut down. We search for something to change quickly. It is a natural human, protective, response if the inner world just feels too painful to stay close to.
The pivotal point in the film in turning towards the feeling is a realisation in a quieter moment. A glimpse that perhaps something in us can become safe enough to meet it.
The difficult feelings seems to naturally ease when
we realise that they can't actually hurt us.
This often lead to us noticing a little more space around the feeling. The inner world that once felt unbearable begins to have a little more room around it. The emotions and younger vulnerable place may still be there, but it no longer seems to consume all of us.
It is as though an adult and a caring experience of us begins to arise. Like a natural movement of presence. A part of us that can turn toward what hurts and say, in its own nurturing way, "I can be here with you". That can be the beginning of coming back to ourselves.
Alongside the feeling that may still be present, we can begin to breathe a touch easier. And in that ease, we tend to see the outside reality a little more clearer, notice what is actually here, and perhaps what may actualy be needed next.
And from that fresh perspective, life can be met with a little more clarity. There may be sense of steadiness and capacity than we felt was available.
Where has life may not gone the way you how had hoped, and what has that brought up in you?
Is there a feeling you have been trying to get away from, simply because it has felt too much to hold?
What is noticed when a little more room is allowed for the feeling to be there, see what might become clearer from that space?
If this reflection spoke to you,
you are welcome to connect.